No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
