that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
