I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
