I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
