Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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