Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i think my cat just said my name.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
