i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
