So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
