he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
