oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
