she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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