I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
they call him Oral-B. enough said
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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