I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
