We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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