She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
