Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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