quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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