guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
