ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i think my cat just said my name.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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