Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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