I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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