honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
