Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
