Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
