She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
