My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
