dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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