I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need water and some morals
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
