It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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