Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
