took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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