so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
