I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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