You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My hand turned me down
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
