im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
