Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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