it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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