Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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