Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
