I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
