She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
