I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
