I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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