I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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