you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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