I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
