Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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