Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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