im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
not ubering you a puppy
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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