Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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