yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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