if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
