Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
